The Generosity of Mr Bender
by outofyoghurt
Summary: Just the group sitting around chatting. No drama! I rated it M for some dirty, well, teenage, talk at the end.


**A/N: Ok, some standard stuff here but I've thrown in a lot of personal stories and attached them to the characters. It's drabble because this is just 'stretching' for my writing. Just a bit of fun. Also, this story is drama free! Sorry about the references being a bit out of time but it's in no way a serious story so don't fret. **

"Do I need a reason to do something for my friends?"

"Being John Bender, yes," responded Andy fairly.

"Just thought you guys might like some fish and chips, I threw in some potato cakes too..." said Bender as he held the steaming paper package. "But apparently you're all too ungrateful so I'll take my business elsewhere."

"I like potato cakes," said Allison, her eyebrows raising.

"Alright, we'll give on the questions…" said Andy still suspicious.

"We should do something special in celebration," offered Claire.

"Celebrating what?" questioned Brian.

"John treating us, John treating anyone to something…" said Claire.

"Aww…touching, it's that rare that I'm nice. You're right Sweets, let's celebrate, let's do what we do everyday." Bender ended the sentence like they were all idiots, he had a habit of doing that to them. There was an unspoken agreement and they all proceeded to the decking outside the music room. "This bag is fuckin' hot so let us all walk a bit brisker eh?"

"It couldn't last," remarked Andy.

Claire gave him a jab in the ribs and walked on alongside Bender. "Don't bite the hand that feeds you Sporto," said Bender as he laid the bag down. They all positioned themselves on the deck and waited expectantly with no further interjections about why Bender had done such a kind thing. He tore open the bag and allowed the steam to billow out.

"You know, my friends used to inhale steam instead of smoking, you know, for fun," said Brian suggestively.

"I did not know that," Bender inhaled some then turned to Brian, "these friends of yours, I think they suffer from disillusionment for there is no way anyone could get off on this."

"I was just saying…can we have some chips now?" said Brian giving in to hunger.

"Alright, dig in ingrates."

"We do appreciate it John," said Claire softly as she sidled up to him. He took a big handful of chips and held it out to her; she took one and only took a small bite whilst Bender crammed as many as he could in at once. "But that's disgusting…" she poked at his bulging cheek but backed away as some mashed potato eased out.

"Ew wealise I pyed fr da ole ship," spluttered Bender to Allison.

"Yeah, well I only like the deep fried shell of it."

"Make sure your boyfriend eats your scraps then," said Bender after he swallowed.

"When you sign on to be boyfriend, no one tells you you're going to be up for things like this," said Andy exasperatedly but happily.

Allison smiled and squeezed a chip between her fingers, watching the fat trickle down her fingers, "I used to be quite large actually…"

"What happened?" asked Claire, "you're tiny."

"I don't know, it just sort of fell off me," she pushed the top half of her chip off and watched it fall to the ground.

"Isn't fat one of your worst memories Claire?" laughed Andy.

"You were fat? I knew I was onto something when I was talking about fat names," said Bender trailing off.

"No, actually," said Claire eyeing him then Andy, "I'd rather not talk about that embarrassing chapter."

"Come on, is it really that embarrassing?" pressured Brian.

"Yes it is actually."

"I've got something much worse…" said Brian.

"Go on then," issued Bender as he ripped some fish in his teeth.

"Well…" Brian started, "sometimes I stutter,"

"Sometimes?" questioned Andy.

"Yeah, it's quite rare but it happens," said Brian, "anyway, I was nine and there was a big spelling bee, district wide, there were three left on the stage and I was so glad I was one of them. My word was versus, I knew how to spell it but my tongue slipped and well, I spelt versusus."

"Is that it?" asked Allison astonished.

"You must be kidding, Claire's is so much worse, go on Claire," motioned Andy.

"Thankyou Andrew," said Claire curling her lip severely at him. "One night our chef who was fired the next morning by the way and thank god he was because this wasn't the first time we had troubles with him, you know he'd been slacking off a lot lately and I swear that fish was out of a can…"

Bender cleared his throat, "is there a story in there Claire?"

"Oh, yes, we our chef was frying some bacon and with his unwatchful eye, let the drapes catch fire; it burnt out our entire kitchen. That wasn't a big ordeal; the drapes were quite expensive but nothing that couldn't be replaced by Daddy." Bender snorted at this last remark but Claire continued. "The newspapers printed it up of course, and well, they headed the story with 'The Standish's Fat Catches Fire,' it was mortifying."

The other four burst into hysterics at Claire's expense, Bender spoke above the raucous after his own laughter was subdued, "that's so heart wrenching Claire, you could go on Opera."

"What?" shrieked Allison, "you mean Oprah?" They all started laughing again.

"I was close wasn't I?"

"Well Andy," started Claire, "how about you sixth birthday party, the fox themed one?"

"Oh gosh," Andy buried his head in his greasy hands. Bender leaned forward at the prospect of more embarrassment.

"The party mainly entailed everyone pretending to be a fox and Andy, well, whilst eating some grass, stumbled upon the thistle patch."

"You ate thistles?!" asked Brian in shock.

"I didn't mean to!" said Andy, "I was busy being a fox…"

"Oh you're still a fox Andy," said Bender nodding sarcastically with eyes wide.

"Shut up Bender! Wait a minute…" Andy squinted in thought, "you were never into topiary as a child were you?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," said Bender evasively as he stared away.

"It was you!" Andy pointed at Bender victoriously. "My mum tells that story to this day."

"What story?' asked Claire as she smiled at John.

"Bender was trying to earn a buck as a kid and came door knocking to see if anyone wanted their hedges carved into a nice duck."

"They weren't ducks!" said Bender defensively, "they were custom designed…flowers and giraffes and stuff. Your mum wanted a rose…"

"How can you remember what she wanted?" asked Brian.

"I only had one customer because I only did it for like a day," trailed off Bender.

"Well that's the thing," laughed Andy, "you made a rose look like a retarded duck and then kept coming back to offer your services of upkeep but my mum wouldn't have a bar of you after that butchering."

"I've never seen this side of you Bender," said Allison, she then poked her tongue between her teeth.

"Alright! Fine, what's your story Ally old pal?" said Bender as he threw his arms in the air.

"Well, ok," Allison hesitated, "When I was in kindergarten, we used to do this same play everyday after recess. There were a limited number of characters and it was first in, best dressed. I loved the cat. The other costumes were hideous anyway, like the duck was a fluoro orange legionnaire's hat, flippers and a road workers vest. I had to be the cat."

"Child wanting everything, how unusual," stated Bender rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, somehow I had this inner body clock and I'd know when to leave the sandpit so I wasn't left to clean it up, it was quite incredible really."

"Wow, how long could that last?"

"Two weeks, I was banned from being the cat." Allison looked down in mourning and everyone laughed. "It's a delicate issue guys!"

Claire pulled one of her magazines out of her bag and flipped it open. "I'm going to give the guys a quiz okay Allison? Now guys, there are no right or wrong answers."

"This will be interesting," she bit her lip. "Keep in mind there are definitely wrong answers."

"Ok," said Claire, "finish this sentences, I like girls who…"

"Drink," replied Andy with his eyes on Allison.

"Are busty," said Bender proudly.

"I'm not doing this," said Brian.

"Favourite female body part?"

"Boobs," said Bender as he stared at Claire's. She pulled the magazine up.

"Legs," Andy stared at Allison's long skirt longing to see what was underneath.

"I'm not doing this," said Brian as he held his hand up.

"It's okay, some chicks like losers." Bender petted Brian mockingly before he was slapped off.

Claire snapped at Bender, "You're so vulgar, at least pretend to be a sweetheart."

"You know that's not the man you fell for, Sweets."

"Oh geez, what do you believe to be a woman's biggest turn on?"

"Muscles…"

"…Big cocks."

The girls burst out laughing, the guys had no idea.

"What's so funny?" asked Andy.

"There, there," sympathised Allison, "you'll work it out someday." She leant over and whispered into Andy's ear. Andy's mouth and eyes opened wide, he turned to her and nodded obediently. She sat back feeling very pleased with herself.

"Last question guys, would you date a musician?"

"That question's very tame," said Allison, wrinkling her nose and peering over the magazine.

"I think it's meant to show their artistic side," said Claire with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, I'd date a magician for sure." Everyone looked at Brian as he hadn't noticed his faux paus.

"Well everybody," announced Bender, "We have to be very tender here as Brian has just revealed his innermost sexual fantasy. Someone will have to tell Princess Leia too. Boy, I don't want to be the one who has to do that."


End file.
